On November 9, Republicans “got busy squirting out ever more unconstitutional laws in the hopes that one of them would make it to SCOTUS.”
Photo Credit: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee/YouTube
“Full Frontal” host Samantha Bee is taking a break from watching the “non-stop sh*t geyser” of president-elect Trump to investigate an important women’s rights issue being decided right now by the states.
“What a surprise, they’re up someone’s skirt,” Bee said, after showing clips detailing why Ohio’s newest abortion law would be the strictest in the nation.
“I’d like to see them top Texas’ fetal burial law,” she remarked. Ohio seeks to ban abortions the moment a heartbeat is detected, which would mean no abortions just six weeks into a pregnancy.
“What the hell, Ohio?” Bee asked incredulously. “After six weeks, most women won’t even know they’re pregnant!”
“Especially now,” she added. “Since every time we wake up and realize Trump is president, we all have morning sickness.”
Even Gov. John Kasich (R-OH), a strong abortion opponent, has voiced concern over whether the bill is constitutional.
“And this is a man who puts his signature and countless condiment stains on every anti-abortion bill that lands on his desk!” Bee exclaimed.
Kasich, best known for his competitive eating on the presidential campaign trail and never backing Trump, defunded Planned Parenthood in Ohio nearly a year ago.
Republicans have tried to get the heartbeat bill passed in Congress for years, “Maybe because [the heartbeat is] the only thing remotely person-like about a six-week old embryo,” Bee concluded. “And pro-lifers are geniuses at making a lentil-sized cluster of developing cells sound like a fully baked pageant baby.”
But as Bee points out, the anti-abortionists’ “wet dream” of passing this bill comes with a hefty price tag.
“Why would lawmakers want to waste taxpayer money defending this turd?” Bee asked, before cutting to a clip of a House meeting in the Ohio Statehouse in which the bill passed.
“New president, new Supreme Court justice appointees,” Senate President Keith Faber (R-Celina) told reporter Mark Kovac when asked why the bill was being pushed now.
“On election night, [Faber] and every other Republican state senator came so hard, they passed out,” Bee mused. “Then they woke up and got busy squirting out ever more unconstitutional laws in the hopes that one of them would make it to SCOTUS and break through Roe v. Wade’s defenses.”
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Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.
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