Getting ready for my big foreign trip. Will be strongly protecting American interests – that’s what I like to do!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 19, 2017
If anything bothers US president Donald Trump, he tries to think of nice things. What kind of things? His electoral-college victory map, perhaps, or the satisfying way a piece of tape can tame a wayward red tie. But the president also likes to have his attention span respected. So here’s a little ditty, Mr. President, to help when you’re feeling blue:
Red hats on white guys and swimsuits on models
Tax cuts and trade wars and healthcare boondoggles
Not paying kids I invited to sing
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
A little red button to order a soda
Learning from Bannon like Luke did from Yoda
Airstrikes for dessert with my friend Xi Jinping
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
Tweetstorms at breakfast; steaks at Mar-a-lago
A big bowl of salad that’s also a taco
Driving big trucks and getting Air Force One wings
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
When the Times scoops,
When the Post stings,
When I’m feeling Sad!
I simply remember my Trumpiest things
And then I don’t feel so Bad!
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