NARCISSISM – I’m Fabulous! Don’t You Agree !

I’m Fabulous! Don’t You Agree?

Simply put, it’s the tendency to think very highly of yourself
and to have little or no regard for others. A narcissist is
selfish, vain, and a glutton for attention. But there’s a range.
Just because you have some of the traits doesn’t mean you’re
mentally unhealthy.

When Is Narcissism a Problem?

Experts might say it’s when those traits start to hurt your
relationships and distort your sense of self. Extreme narcissism
can cross over to a mental illness called narcissistic personality
disorder. Your life revolves around your need for approval. You
don’t understand or care about others’ feelings. You’re convinced
you’re special, and you need others to acknowledge it.

Mirror, Mirror

The word narcissism comes from a mythical Greek youth who
couldn’t pull himself away from his own reflection. Narcissus was
beautiful. Narcissists, on the other hand, don’t have to be
beautiful to believe they are. They’re convinced that they’re
superior, even when it’s not the reality.

Endless Hunger

Praise. That’s what a narcissist wants from you. All the time.
Their appetite for it is unlimited. And it goes in only one
direction, so don’t expect any in return. And if that constant
stream of flattery and admiration stops even for a second, they can
turn hostile or aggressive very quickly.

They Don’t Care

Really, they don’t. Other people’s feelings aren’t on a
narcissist’s radar. They usually never grow any empathy. They see
you as a tool to get what they want, or an obstacle in their way.
Sometimes, they don’t mean to be jerks. They’re simply blind to how
they affect you.

They’re Bullies

A narcissist’s puffed-up self-image often masks a fear that they
don’t measure up. When someone punctures their ego or insults them,
narcissists can lash out. They demean, belittle, and intimidate.
Many studies have linked narcissism with higher levels of
aggression and violence.

Romance With a Narcissist

You might not see the red flags at first. Narcissists are often
charming and popular. But over time, they may become cold,
manipulative, and cruel. And they are often unfaithful, always on
the lookout for a more impressive or better-looking partner.

Like Attracts Like?

You’d think narcissists would favor partners who feed their egos
or who put up with their insensitivity. But that’s usually not the
case. Narcissists hook up with all personality types. Still,
they’re a bit more likely to end up in a relationship with another
narcissist.

Narcissists as Co-Workers

They make good first impressions and excel in job interviews.
But they can be lousy hires. Narcissists overestimate their own
skills and put yours down. They’ll do whatever it takes to impress.
They’ll barge into private conversations, give unwanted advice, and
shamelessly steal ideas. They’re also rated worse by the employees
they manage, except by those who are narcissists themselves.

It’s Not All Bad

A dose of narcissism can be a good thing. It can build your
self-esteem and give you joy. You’re less likely to be depressed,
lonely, or discouraged. ”Normal narcissists” often are excellent
speakers and visionaries. That may be why they also tend to earn
bigger salaries in the corporate world.

Think Someone’s a Narcissist?

Just ask them! They are surprisingly willing to tell you exactly
who they are. Not that they think there’s anything wrong with them.
They might even say you’re a sucker for not being a narcissist
yourself. They for sure won’t apologize for their behavior or how
they live their life.

If Your Partner Is a Narcissist

They may lull you with grand dreams when life is good. But when
the fantasy pops, you may become the root of all their problems.
Don’t buy into either distorted picture. It helps if you:

• Don’t make excuses for them when they lie or hurt others.
• Realize they will do the same to you.
• Focus on your own dreams and goals.

How to Handle a Narcissist

Set boundaries. Decide where your limit is.
Stick to it even as they try to punish, charm, or bully you.

Criticize gently. They may get angry if you
threaten their self-image. Focus on how their behavior makes you
feel rather than on their intentions.

Walk away if they become angry. Try again when
they’re calm.

Don’t argue. They probably won’t hear you and
may attack your motives.

Treatment

Narcissists aren’t keen to get professional help. After all,
defensiveness is one of their hallmarks. And there’s no proven
treatment. Some experts say talk therapy may help narcissists
better understand how their behavior affects others. Some
therapists may try more effective treatments meant for conditions
with similar traits, like borderline personality disorder.